below is a reflection on the cross, Jesus’ few words there, and the unrelenting struggle to find hope and strength in the midst of the deepest despair, when it seems as though hell is swallowing you whole and death has permeated your bones. it was birthed at this time last year, in the midst of my own darkness and despair. i hope it speaks to anyone else who is likewise learning to walk in the dark.
o, my soul
wilts neath what’s left of my flesh and bones
and i can barely breathe
o, my lungs
pierced liked a spear in my side
God, where have you gone
and i’m left here alone
upon this forsaken tree
why have you forsaken me?
have you forsaken me?
o, my heart
gently ripped from my chest
laid bare before me
o, my God,
i long for you now, and i wait . . .
where have you gone,
and i’m here alone
upon this forsaken tree
why have you forsaken me?
have you forsaken me?
even still,
though angels of death surround,
my love, my life
into your hands i commit.
though my lungs may fail
and my breathing cease
though my eyes go blind
and i no longer see
even still, even still
your blood will run through me
weaving webs of eternity
delicately holding me
o, can this really be,
that in death there is peace?
o, my God,
i stand here and wait for you
i will wait for you